Swans
by Kate Shephard
Summary: I wanted to tell you I'd changed. I wanted to tell you that things would be different this time. But I see you, You see me, Differently. I see you, You see me, Differently.


Well. Here it is. Fanfiction one of my new challenge. Please R&R.

Disclaimer: I do not own LOST. Swans belongs to Unkle Bob.

* * *

**Swans**

_By my side  
You'll never be  
By my side  
You'll never be_

The house seemed quieter than ever before. The sound of her bare feet against the cold wood floor echoed through the hall, though it didn't really seem to make things anymore livelier. She avoided the glass on the floor that she'd neglected to clean, a picture frame lying face down - hiding the faces of two once happy people. The rest were still on the wall. She didn't have the strength to tear them down at the time, and now she didn't want to stop staring at them.

Thunder cracked outside and the dark house lit up for a few seconds with a bright light. She froze, her eyes clamping shut. As she continued moving, soft sobs now accompanied the tapping of her feet. Seconds seemed like hours and she finally made it to the kitchen. Going through the drawers, she managed to find a lighter. It was enough to get her to her car.

Storms had never been a problem before. Sometimes they'd sit out on the porch swing and snuggle together, staring at the lightning in amazement. But not anymore. Now the house was lonely, and the crack of thunder sent fear through her body. She turned the lighter on and managed to get to the living room with the tiny bit of light. She let the fire go out, putting the lighter down on the stand by the door so it'd be easy to find if she had to come back. Patting her pocket, she made sure her keys were there before opening the door and staring out at the pouring rain. A cold gust of wind, made her shiver, but she ignored her jacket and walked out onto the porch, making sure to shut the door behind her.

After slipping on her shoes, she headed down the steps. The rain beat down against her, soaking her before she could even get the car door open. It wasn't an enjoyable feeling; the wetness on her face simply wanting to make the tears come more. She felt safer enclosed in her car. Often she drove alone, the thought of Jack being there as soon as she got home implanted in her mind.

He lived in the next town over now though. Not at home. And soon he wouldn't even live there. He'd take their kids hours away and she'd never see her family again. Her stupid mistakes had finally caused her to be miserable, forcing her to be alone. She had got what she was sure she deserved. There was no more room for second chances.

Starting the car, the road in front of her filled with light. She pulled out of her driveway and onto the road. She wasn't sure what she expected. She tried not to get her hopes up, but they raised anyway. The closer she got to his house, the more excited her heart seemed to get.

_Cause I'm fake at the seams  
I'm lost in my dreams  
And I  
I want you to know that I can let you go  
And you're never coming home again  
And you're never coming home again_

It didn't take long to get to his house. The rain slowed her down a bit, but it had only taken fifteen minutes max. She pulled into his driveway and shut off her car, leaving the keys in the ignition. Maybe someone would decide it was a good time to steal it and Jack would be forced to let her stay or at least come in. She got out, not shutting her door behind her. The rain had seemed to let up a bit, though the wind had picked up.

Making her way to his porch, she sobbed quietly, the results of this meeting beginning to terrify her now. The thought of being turned down was the worse. There was light peaking through his curtain, indicating the power wasn't out there and that he wasn't in bed. Avoiding the door, she tried to peak inside, her vision blurred by her tears. She could just make out the form of Jack on the couch, snuggled with their five year old daughter and two year old son. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she had seen them. Did they miss her? Did they know what she did?

_By my side  
You'll never be  
By my side  
You'll never be  
You'll never be _

She backed away from the window and walked to the door. The fear brought a nauseous feeling, but she quickly fought it off. Raising a shaky fist, she knocked on the door. She could hear the scrambling of tiny paws then a dog barking and scratching at the door. Her dog barking and scratching at the door. Her heart ached.

The porch light turned on, then the door suddenly opened. Jack ushered the dog back then took a step out, freezing when he saw who was there. His face turned cold. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice so quiet it was almost a whispered. "Go home, Kate."

Kate stared up at him, trying to stop her tears. "The…the power's out. And it's storming." She stared at him pleadingly, crossing her arms tightly across her chest. "Just for tonight, Jack. Please. Just for tonight. I want to see you. I want to…"

Jack cut her off. "No. You can't come running here whenever something goes wrong, Kate. Not anymore." He moved to shut the door, but it was stopped with her foot.

_I wanted to tell you I'd changed  
I wanted to tell you that things would be different this time  
But I see you  
You see me  
Differently  
I see you  
You see me  
Differently _

"Please," She tried to plead with him, sobbing a bit louder. "I'm sorry. I won't…It won't…"

"I said no, Kate," Jack replied, shaking his head. "And that's it. I'm sorry, but you being here…It won't work."

"Why?! What's one night with my babies, Jack? I need to see them." She stepped toward him, trying to look in at them. "Please…"

Jack blocked her view, shaking his head. "You have to go now. For all of us. They know what you did. They know you betrayed me and went with Sawyer. You need to go."

"But, Jack, I…"

"Where's Sawyer, Kate?" Jack asked. "Are you mad at him and running back to me because you need someone else to go to? Is that what's happening? Are you doing the same thing to him you did to me?"

Kate quickly shook her head. "He's gone, Jack. He's gone for good." She stepped closer to him, trying to get out of the rain and get some warmth. "Don't make me go home, Jack."

_You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again  
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again  
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again  
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again _

"I love you, Kate, but you need to go home," Jack said. "It's what's best. For all of us."

"It's not best for me!"

"It's best." The firmness of his voice startled both of them. He put his hands on her shoulders, gently guiding her back out into the darkness. He gave her a sad look then stepped back in, the door shutting. The faint click of a lock could be heard and the porch light shut off.

Maybe it was time to move on. She moved back to the window, taking one last look at her beautiful family.


End file.
